Waiting for my Rocket to Come

The finish line's a good place we could start.

2010-12-31T22:14:00.007+08:00

If the epic Harry Potter had its Deathly Hallows, the legendary The Beatles concluded with Abbey Road and the heartwarming Toy Story ended with, well, Toy Story 3, then manicaaaa has her version of a historic farewell too.

You know, that preamble sounds tad better when it's in my head. But now that it's out there it sounds more stuck-up than I intend to. Not my fault. I was aiming for a dramatic goodbye anyway.

Yes, this is the end folks. The end as we know it. It has been quite a good run, huh? A four year-run to be precise. I'm ending "Waiting for my Rocket to Come" because I believe my rocket has finally come. Finally.

All was well. Here comes the sun. So long, partner.

I'm looking hard in the mirror but I don't fit my skin.

2010-10-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

I am losing it.

I don’t know how much justice I can put into that and I don't feel like going on about it either. But right now that certainly seems to be where my most of my days is heading: into a dodge of non being. This is not one of those down-in-the-dumps episodes wherein all I need is the comfort of my friends to get me right. This really isn't. This is also neither of those nights when I pine for the return of the good old days. This really isn't.

I can tell you when or how it started but I simply know no beginnings. For the time being, though, I’ll consider sleeping. Maybe all of these apprehensions will have vaporized into the atmosphere by the time I wake up tomorrow.

She needs me now but I can't seem to find a time.

2010-09-23T00:41:00.003+08:00

"But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah.
We're smiling but we're close tears.
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time..."
- For the First Time, The Script

This song effortlessly justifies my fanaticism for this band. All hail.

Missed opportunities and "I Don't Cares"

2010-09-08T22:57:00.003+08:00

Expect a long, random stream of psychobabbling.

My stories are all getting rusty. They're not even a lot, but still.

Using the Internet regularly is beginning to bore and tire me. If it were not for the music and for my friends' updates I don't think I would still be clicking and snapping away on these shiny hardwares. Everything is just so... phony. And arranged. And obligatory. Especially in this time and era, when posting philosophical quotations and high and mighty statuses seem to be the only way to make people think that you're awesome and sophisticated. I'm not coming clean by saying this. Press charges on me for such claims and I will be guilty. Very, guilty. All I'm saying is, some people that are on these sites are just glorified version of their selves. That's not truly who they are, which goes against those "stay-true-to-yourself" lessons that we have been forced to live by since gradeschool.

Lol. What am I even saying? I'm thinking this might be some ill effect of that intensely lengthy and dreary speech which I'll be delivering on Monday. I'm really psyched and at the same time, really anxious. I'll be representing my college (Arts and Sciences) by giving out a 7-minute speech on Philippine social and political issues. The piece is great. Actually it makes me wish I have written it myself. Anyway, I presented before my English class this morning (It was in fact my English professor who picked me. Haha.) and they said that I still have to work on my gestures and vowel pronunciations (A classmate remarked that it's possibly because of my braces. I'm wishing real hard that my teeth are aligned already so I can have them removed by Friday. And that is not just because of that speech. Theoretically, they should really be out of my mouth by now.) Also, I'm a complete novice at this discipline that's why I've been praying to Jesus, Joseph and Mary (Happy Birthday!) to enlighten me so my mind won't go blank once I'm up that platform. (My seatmate actually gave me a note that reads "Think that you can do it, and you will." Haha! It was really sweet. And unexpected.)

(I make inappropriately long side comments.)

THE GLEE MUSIC VOLUME 1 IS FINISHED DOWNLOADING! I KNOW. I'M A GLEEK. BUT APART FROM ME BEI-- Using capital letters looks hostile so let's start again. The Glee Music Volume 1 is finished downloading! I know. I'm a gleek. But apart from me being a gleek, my excitement is also because of my recent exploration on different genres of music. So far, I'm estimating 20 new albums have been added to our library because of this said exploration. That includes Breakthrough (Colbie Caillat), The Blueprint 3 (Jay-Z), Bipolar (Up Dharma Down), Battle Studies (John Mayer) and many, many more. One hundred seventy-three tracks more, and our library's hitting 2-0-0-0!

In addition to the mentioned musical exploration, I have also kept myself occupied with books. The Mysterious Benedict Society, The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey (Trenton Lee Stewart), Dead Sleep (Greg Iles) and The Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger) are my freshest acquisitions. Although, I think I will be shifting my interest to young adult fiction (The first two are regarded as Children Literature). To books that would suit my age bracket. But my funds are running low at the moment so I'm settling for my sister's Shutter Island.

Well look at the time. It's a Thursday so I should be expecting to see Micah for our weekly lunch date. Finally. That seemed like forever.

Goodnight citizens of the world.

P.S. I removed my DP again. For obvious reasons.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.

2010-09-04T13:01:00.016+08:00

Pocketful of Sunshine has now become my present shower song because of this. Emma Stone is simply adorable! I've loved her since "The Rocker." Easy A must be a good watch.

Her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining.

2010-08-21T23:12:00.004+08:00

My wits are perturbed for particular academic reasons, and can't come up with an obligatory birthday message. So instead, I'll give a somewhat detailed account of how I spent my Saturday afternoon in the company of a beautiful girl who owns those compelling smiles.

Let's start at a message I received from Kristine earlier this week, wherein she notified me about a mini get-together with a few Gryffindor (funny how I use the name now) people on Saturday. I agreed right away. After the exhausting examinations, a time with the friends I missed is much timely.

Saturday. My neon green alarm clock screams half an hour past one already. I'm late. Quickly, I tossed in a default maroon polo shirt, a pair of tight-fitting jeans and loose powder on my face, and I'm good to go.

I felt every minute weigh in. Because I'm almost an hour late, I have no phone, and because no final plans were made, I may not see them after all. But I kept my spirits up.

I reached the entrance soon enough. And even before my body temperature adjusted to the mall's ventilation, I saw her. Despite my 100/150 vision, I can tell it was her. And apparently, she was alone.

Hurrying to the second floor, my thoughts were on how I would approach her, or what words would seem fit enough to greet a friend you haven't seen for three months. But by the moment I was within her proximity, those thoughts just vanished.

She shunned away from my direction, and for this I wondered. When I saw her up close, I realized it was because she was crying. Not the bawling-her-eyes type. Just a soft sob. Out of happiness, out of relief, I can't tell.

I'd be lying if I tell you that our conversation carried on naturally and continuously, because it didn't. There were the awkward pauses. The instances when we second guess what to say next. And those times, when we just grinned at each other, like fools.

Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy to be with her at that moment. In the end, she was the same person I met a few months back. The same girl from Pili who has a stature that can give Venus Raj a run for her money. The same girl who gave me advices on nights when I felt like cutting my own wrist. The same girl who likes "Slumdog Millionaire" for special reasons, who dreams of living in a house with walls lined with hundreds of books, and who values memories with her family and friends more than anything else in this fickle world of ours.

Right now, I'm staring at the cursor blink furiously, and I'm still thinking how I can give this tale a righteous ending. But maybe, maybe, I'm not the one who should. So to the rest of the things unwritten here, and in her life, I leave it to her. Because with girls like her, girls like Angela, they're the ones who's bound to get that righteous ending at the finale. We just have to wait and see. :)

Truth

2010-08-18T22:28:00.008+08:00

The thoughts in my head in six bullet points:

Seriously, are you really that dense?
BACK THE HELL OFF OR ELSE I WILL CUT YOU. I SWEAR I CAN.
I hate you, and your nonexistent efforts.
For the sake of all things holy and sane, let's all skip into the 26th.
Sir, can you give me a written exam instead? Pleaaase?
Hey you, come home already. I miss you.

Because life is easier when we use lists. And when we tell the truth.

Live High, Live Mighty

2010-08-09T23:22:00.006+08:00

Love Is Mandatory (A Playlist)
Colbie Caillat - You Got Me
Jason Mraz - If It Kills Me
The Cure - Friday, I'm In Love
Michael Cera & Ellen Page - Anyone Else But You
The Beatles - I Will
Hey Monday - 6 Months
Lady Antebellum - Can't Take My Eyes Off You
Glee Cast - Sweet Caroline
Katherine McPhee - Terrified
Adele - Make You Feel My Love
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning (acoustic)
Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
The Wonders - Doing That Thing You Do
Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star
John Legend - Stay With You

My first try to create a mix tape, and it's all about love. Great. I'll be leaving for a while too. It's our Midterms on 17 and 18. And I'm still keeping that aim, which is to secure a 1.5 - 1.75 GPA at the least. Even if I've been doing poorly on Nat Sci and Filipino lately. Well, there's nothing that a few prayers and reviewers can't arrange. So yes, although it will entail plenty of efforts, I swear I'll reach that aim.

CATHY: "AJA!" :) ♥

Hold Me Down

2010-08-06T23:22:00.008+08:00

He finally stopped today. Who? My not-so-secret-slash-slightly-stalkerish-admirer did.

I don't know what pushed him to do it, though. He sent me this apologetic message in Facebook earlier today saying that he wasn't aware how his actions were already affecting other people. And that he'll just pretend that we've never met.

I can't even see why he was into me in the first place. For one, I am most certainly not the poised-and-pretty type. I don't go around the campus sashaying with my tresses agreeing with the blow of the wind. I don't boast a face that can launch a thousand ships. I don't attract the ethereal sunbeams so it would highlight my mega-watt smile. Heck, I don't even own a mega-watt smile.

And for another, he barely knows me, and yet he acts as if he knows me cover me cover. I bet the only thing he can answer in my Bio-Data is my nickname. Not the historic (B e n o) but the easily termed one (N i c a).

I'm not trying to be modest here. I'm just telling the truth. And the truth is, revealing this here is making me miss my friends (again) . Not one of them is aware of this. Just me. And now you. And if my friends did know, they would know just what to do.

*Rereads her post* Ha! I can't believe I just said all of that. I appear haughty. Hee hee.

You're the echoes of my everything.
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon.
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment.
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love.
How will I break the news to you?
How will I break the news to you?
- Hold Me Down, Motion City Soundtrack

I can't get that song off my mind. It's too catchy, too sweet, just like...

Up

2010-08-05T22:31:00.001+08:00

Woah. Has it really been that long? I was backtracking my silly accounts for the past months, and I must say, I truly missed this. The only reason I was putting this off almost every time is the many distractions I have been, and am still dealing with in this big bad world. There are social networking sites (Facebook and Twitter), academic-related matters, power collapses, boredom and lethargy, socio-emotional issues, and the list goes on and on and on. And even if I do update, most of them are bland and incoherent.

Having said that, I officially now welcome you to *drumrolls* Manicaaaa: Season 4! My style of writing changes for every season but I think I'll stay with what I have now. I would like to discuss more of that but my time is limited today. I have yet to work on my movie analysis for Nat. Sci., laboratory papers for Biology and long tests in Psychology and Phil. History. See? I am a busy person. Hee hee.

But before I run off, I want to greet the best mother in the whole galaxy (so cliche, I know) a advance happy birthday. Happy birthday Mama! Too bad she's not here. She's in Manila accompanying my sister for her medical tests. Maybe I'll surprise her with a phone call at midnight instead. Hm, not a bad idea. But we'll see. So long!

My mother may look very goofy here but I love her just the same. :)

Stop and Stare.

2010-08-03T19:38:00.003+08:00

I'm not finished yet, obviously. College days have been pretty strenuous lately. Probably you may want to hear how strenuous it has been but I don't feel like going into that right now. I'm all out of words.

Well, see 'ya.

Fadin' like the stars we wish to be.

2010-06-26T19:44:00.015+08:00

College is starting to grow on me. I guess it was only time that I truly needed. The first week was like hell on Earth, though. And the first day was the worst. But I'm adjusting a little better to the environment, to the people, and to the curriculum now. In fact, a great deal of changes have occurred in me over the past month.

I'm studying more vigorously. Or I'm studying vigorously, more like. Because I can't really bring back a certain instance when I studied as much as I do now. I try to procrastinate less (Old habits die hard, you know) and do a lot of advance reading. On schooldays, you'll only find me either at home, in a classroom or at the library. Since I don't have any social life to speak of (as of the moment) I devour most of my hours among those untidily stacked books. I walk alone. I eat, study, go to my next class, alone. It's not what I'm used to, but I kind of prefer it that way. The funny thing about my department is, we don't have block sections. For every class, I'll have different sets of classmates. So it's a bunch of strangers over and over again. Don't get me wrong, I do have a few of new friends. But still, I remain as discreet as ever. I only talk when someone else starts to converse, and I normally smile just to be polite.

As for the academics, I'm not really complaining. All of the subjects I'm presently taking (History, Algebra, English, etc.) are all quite basic. Well except for Biology, which takes up three hours of my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. For the last weeks, it has been involving a microscope, a reliable pencil, and substance-20 bond papers. I'm not too fond of the idea but there's nothing else I can do but to comply. And according to my professor, we'll be sketching more often in the coming semesters. And the frog dissection's another thing I have to look forward to.

Still, I can't shy away from the fact that I really, really, really miss my friends. Sometimes, even when I'm feeling fine, I'll get occasional bouts of depression out of nowhere. But as of today, they're getting less. I guess the distance separating us now will not only allow us to chase our own dreams, but will also help grow into the best version of ourselves. And in a way, that makes me proud of them, of us.
______________________________
Little by Little - Oasis

Another turning point; a fork stuck in the road.

2010-06-07T23:01:00.002+08:00

It took a long while before this piece of reality finally sank in and finally, tonight, everything came clear to me.

This is college life. Gone are the faces I meet and greet each day at school. Gone are the circle of friends who adopted me and whom I've known so well since Day 1 of my freshman year. Gone are the inside jokes, the numerous photo ops, and the long stretches of time spent idling by.

This is college life. Time's not going to slow down, nor will it go back. And although the succeeding days may not be as good as before, I'm not going to mope around like a fool and feel sorry for all my faults that awfully changed my life.

This is college life. I'm going to be headstrong and I will definitely prove all those people who questioned the choices I've made that I have been right all along. I'm going to bring out the utmost version of myself that might even have me surprise.

This is college life. And there's no turning back.
______________________________
Time Of Your Life - Green Day

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there.

2010-06-02T23:09:00.007+08:00

I was re-reading the things I have posted over the summer and it occurred to me that I rarely (or maybe never) mention the things that kept me busy over the past weeks. So I decided to publish them tonight. The days that weren't included here were practically boring and were mainly consumed by texting, eating, sleeping, reading, watching TV, and surfing the net. I wrote all of it in free form complete with the places I've been to and the people I've been with.

March 31 - Went to school to return the graduation toga and cap, walked to Borj's with Jerald, Cathy, Cam, Ivy, Micah and Lala for his graduation party, visited Hinulid with my family right after
April 1 - Swam under the glorious heat in Lago del Ray and stopped at the eight churches in Naga City come nighttime
April 3 - Had a family beach outing in Minalabac
April 4 - Paid my grandmother a visit in Sipocot
April 5 - My first Final Rites at a place in Carolina
April 7 - Left at 7 a.m. for Charm's birthday surprise at their house, went to school to accomplish a couple of PBs and RBs and spent the remaining sunlit hours of the day at SM with Oliver, Ivy, Lala and Cathy
April 8 - Visited UNC to know about the requirements
April 9 - 4 - C's class outing at Peñafrancia Resort
April 10 - Was at school again to acquire some of the requirements for college
April 12 - Helped Oliver carry out his surprise for Ivy and watched "Clash Of The Titans" in 3D (Oliver's treat)
April 13 - Finished my Power Builders with the HCB and ate at Mcdo with Micah
April 15 - Rushed to SM at 5 in the afternoon to listen to Meg's witty opinions concerning politics together with Cathy, Lala, Charm and Ivy
April 16 - Answered my Rate Builders alone, wandered aimlessly across downtown with a Hot Fudge Sundae in hand then went to Cathedral to ask enlightenment about college (Yeah, seriously)
April 17 - Travelled North with my family
April 18 - Strolled around Trinoma and SM North Edsa
April 19 - Enchanted Kingdom!
April 20 - Headed home and had a lot of engine problems and thus arrived at 1 a.m. the next day
April 21 - Finally finished my SRA, got my card, my graduation pictures and the Nicholas Sparks book from Ma'am Chavez, ate lunch at KFC with Cathy and Micah, spent the entire afternoon with the nine Chocoholics and tried the mock elections sponsored by the PPCRV
April 23 - Watched "Up In The Air" with German in Bichara
April 24 - Struggled in stopping someone from coming at our house but succeeded after a few conditions
April 27 - Did an early morning jog with Kirk, had breakfast at Mcdo and watched "Hurt Locker" and "Fright Nights" with Ivy and Cathy by the afternoon
April 29 - Ivy came by to lend me Glee and Dear John DVDs
May 3 - Walked around Centro alone despite the scary thunder and lightnings while eating Jollibee's Chocolate Sundae, bought a May issue of Candy, visited Cathedral again, met up with Oliver and Ivy there then walked home with Ivy
May 5 - Ouiea's treat at Mcdo with Renille and Jenny then "Ironman 2" afterwards
May 8 - Meg stopped by at our house, along with Micah, Lala, Cathy, Ivy and Cam, to ask help for her speech for the turnover of her crown later that day, scanned the pictures but our computer just died all of a sudden, dashed to Ivy's with Micah to finish the presentation, arrived at the venue by 9 p.m. and stayed there 'till 1 a.m.
May 10 - Philippines' first automated election
May 11 - Stayed in line for hours just to get my NSO Birth Certificate with Micah and bought a "Kickass" DVD
May 17 - Took care of my enrollment all by myself which was fun but very, very tiring then treated myself to a Hot Fudge Sundae after that long, tiring day
May 18 - Returned to UNC with Ivy to finalize something about my tuition, ate sundaes at Mcdo, kept laughing at Ivy's inability to strike a smile, did a bit of window shopping and bought a "Nightmare On Elm Street" DVD
May 21 - Lazed around Jenny's place for the whole day with Choco
May 27 - Went out with Herbert before he left on the 30th
May 29 - The first time I've ever been to Carmelite, confessed and attended an anticipated mass with Micah and Ivy and visited Ateneo's ORSEM
May 31 - Spent the entire afternoon at the Zuñiga residence sulking and sobbing while Ivy and Micah tried to cheer me up by dancing to "Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh 2ne4"
June 1 - Micah and Ivy stopped by to return my Stainless Longganisa book
June 2 - Went to UNC again with Ivy and Micah, went home, had lunch at Caby's with Choco, went home again, then to E-mall, Magsaysay and Ma'am Dee's house

So that's about it. How was your summer?
______________________________
Drive - Incubus

She's got to love nobody.

2010-05-28T13:50:00.002+08:00

Blog. Blog. Nailcutter. June 7. Biology. 8:30 pm. 28. May 28. Full Moon. Lady Gaga. Poker face. Glee. Regionals. Wowowee. Willie. Robin. Idol. Lee Dwyze. Phineas. Ferb. Phineas. Ferb. Truth. Honesty. Policy. Rain. Hailstorm. Summer. June. College. June 7. Friends. Choco. 4 - C. Goodbyes. Farewells. Miserable. Miserable. Sad. Bitter. Sweet. Hot fudge Sundae. Mcdo. Kiddie Crew. Renille. 28. 28. Happy. Wake Up. Insomnia. Lala. Jenny. Speechless. Judah. Charm. Camp. YFC Camp. February. 2nd Year. 123Boom!. Jerald. Formspring. Haters. Hate. Love. Indifference. Multiply. DVDR. Lost. Lost. Found. Shooting Star. Airplanes. Haley Williams. Eminem. Chocolate. Brownies. Ivy. Telephone. Cellphone. Sad. Sad. Parents. College. UNC. Damn. BS Biology. Dentistry. Medicine. Future. Present. Gift. Keychain. Frog. Dissection. Yuck. Disgust. Nasty. Janet Jackson. Michael Jackson. Dead. Dead. I am dead.
______________________________
Poker Face - Lady Gaga

I need intervention, attention, to stop temptation to scream.

2010-05-06T14:24:00.012+08:00

Hindi ko na alam.

Some people had it easy. It looked as if their lives carried on like screenplays. They know what to do, what to say, what to choose. As for me, it's the usual shrug and "I-don't-know." I really just don't know anymore. I feel like a robot. And my circuitry's beginning to depreciate.

~~~

Hahahahaha! Time for a sudden shift of mood cause it's time to discuss something surprisingly substantial. The 2010 Elections. (Don't look at me like that. I have nothing new.)

(Err. I can't write well. My mom keeps on asking me if she looks good enough. This not even something surprisingly substantial because she asks me that every single time she goes to her clinic which is everyday, by the way. HAHAHA. Now back to regular programming...)

The constant bombardment of flashy advertisements into the entire mass media only signals one thing: the election is nearing. Based on Philippine customs, it is again that season when political aspirants contest against one another for national, regional, or local governance. It is the time when various political parties, spearheaded by their own “presidentiable”, parade their respective ideas, visions, and platforms in the hope of reform and development.

I'm not yet a registered nor a qualified voter but I believe in what my dad said at the dinner table this lunch: This is a national concern. That means every breathing Filipino who is within Philippine shorelines, as well as those who are not, should put this matter on at least a fraction of their minds. Especially now when the memory cards of the PCOS machines were found to be defected and are needed to be replaced or reprogrammed in a matter of days.

By now, I should already be familiar with how the system of elections works, because in two to three years from now, I will be part of the age group that is responsible for the future supremacy in our nation. So it is of great importance that the youth look past those catchy slogans and blinding colors, and start to look more into their agendas and advocacies.

Our national hero once said that the youth holds the future of a nation. And that is true. Being young and free provides us endless possibilities and chances. The decision is just up to us.

I wrote the highlighted part for our AP class this year. It might look as if I hold no conviction about things like this but I truly believe that this country can still be saved. With enough prayers and resolve, I still believe we can.

______________________________

When It All Falls Apart - The Veronicas

The story needs some mending and a better happy ending.

2010-04-30T17:27:00.010+08:00

Inspiration. I used to get that anywhere, from anyone. Even from the most unlikely people-- you know, from mere acquaintances to the people who just happen to catch your attention in the streets. Before, it used to be resonating laughters, straightforward lyrics or just the simple idea of finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that could fuel me instantaneously. It used to be like that. It used to be that easy.

Tick tock. Pretty soon that longer hand will hit twelve and will pronounce the start of May. Men, summer is fast. And I'm not even having that much fun. And they say time flies when you're having fun. Whatever. Well you get the analogy.

Wait. Can this count as a comeback already? HAHA. I hope so.
______________________________

Fairytale - Sara Bareilles

She woke me up daily-- don't need no Starbucks.

2010-03-18T00:15:00.008+08:00

The number of people devouring their time into whimsical nonsense have marginally been dropping through the passing minutes yet I'm still seated here. Seated still here. Enjoying whatever this whimsical nonsense may bring.

It's weird to finally be blogging again. This is not even a well-planned (yes, i actually PLAN what to post) entry. Because besides feeling jolly jolly good about the happenings of this month, I actually have nothing else to say anymore.

My lazy bones are making its reappearance again. So far, I have only given out seven letters among the forty-five. And I still have this one long, long letter to write. I hope I can finish all of these in time. And SRA, of course. Thou shalt not forget SRA.

Out of boredom and curiosity, I managed to type the keywords "justin bieber baby" into the Youtube search engine. Don't give me that look. Apart from the "aha aha aha", that's the most definite song stucked in my head that it actually had me interested.

The video is done loading. Mainstream music are almost similar nowadays. Kesha. Justin Bieber. Blah blah blah. Baby baby baby. What difference does it makes if you keep on repeating the words?

Random thoughts badgering me.

"You don't need anyone to make you happy.
Happiness is a choice." - Charm

______________________________
Baby - Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris

When everything feels like the movies

2010-03-07T21:33:00.003+08:00

I'm still unfinished with the special feature that you requested. So for now, I only have two words:

BE
HAPPY

You're one of the few people who's really dear to me so it just kills me every time I see you cry. I know you're having a hard time finding the silver lining of the situation and I know you're tired with all those people dictating your decisions. But I also know that you can and you will outstrip this struggle. How can I say so? Because for one, you taught me how to.

And well, if all else fails, I am always here. It sounds too overrated but you can hold onto that.
______________________________
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

Flashback to when we said forever and always.

2010-02-20T14:58:00.010+08:00

I am procrastinating again.

My schedule has began to become false as soon as our analog clock pronounced the start of the afternoon. According to the functional fraction of my head, I should be or I must be working on the chapter five of our thesis. But with cough spells prodding through my lungs every now and then, I think I might have to procrastinate a little bit more.

As if wanting to start my awesomely average day, I heard Hate That I Love You on the radio today. Long before You Belong With Me and You Make It Real, this is the one song that can freeze my entire consciousness without even trying. The one song that can take me back to sophomore year.

February 8 and 15 of 2008
(Jess, Jerald, Cla, Krizzia, Bea, Pre, Jannah)
(Herbert, Borj, Aries, Glean)

Oh yes. The mischief, the food, the laughter, the stories, the getaways-- the list is endless. Days spent with them are never dull and ordinary. I just wish I could do it all over again.
______________________________
Forever and Always - Taylor Swift

Once we hit the top there's no stopping us.

2010-02-18T23:26:00.005+08:00

This photo was taken in the middle of our Voltage-Current-Resistance lecture earlier today.
Unless it concerns something fascinating, or unless Sir Jonatz discusses it in layman's term, I honestly never absorb anything about Physics.

______________________________
No Stopping Us - Jason Mraz

Nothing to get hung about.

2010-02-15T20:13:00.004+08:00

Call me mundane or exaggerated, but I will miss really that thing. I know I'm already sounding stupid just by making its loss as a topic for today's entry, but I don't care. If I still have it right now, I would probably be checking it every minute or so to keep myself posted. If I still have it right now, I could have transferred that picture that Dixie and Paulene claim to be seductive. If I still have it right now, or maybe during my not-feeling-so-good moments, I would be re-reading the personal messages that a few selected people sent on New Year's Eve. If I still have it right now, I would still have a record of Licelle's confessions.

No more two in the morning wake-up calls. No more entertaining calls and flood messages from Angela. No more calendar notes.

I'm back from where I started and I'm probably better off without it. Until so long,

______________________________
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles

Open up the window, let in the light dearie.

2010-02-14T23:48:00.000+08:00

I've never been a big ball of cheese. I've been a witness to many relationships that have crashed and burned in a matter of months. I've seen many ladies and gents wait for their turn yet have nothing in return. But you know what, even in a world where everyone turns more cynical by the minute, in a world where almost everyone has his own hue of bitterness, I still in believe in love. And I always will. After all, love is the Earth's second sun.

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Dig a Little Deeper - The Princess and the Frog

Love is the answer. At least for most of the questions in my heart .

2010-01-28T18:57:00.003+08:00

Just to break the norm, I will actually say something good today- in spite of the numerous homeworks that are still left neglected and unfinished. I just have this sense, this voice inside my head that needs to be heard and heeded. I've kept myself mum for like, weeks now and I, for one, know that's unhealthy. So I'm gonna say it now, and I'm only gonna say it once.

To the persons that matter:
I'm sorry if I haven't been myself lately. I think you guys already know why even without me telling. I don't know how you do that. It's like... magic. And that's the probably the best-est thing about you. I don't think there'll be enough words that can measure up to my gratitude of always having you around, so I'm gonna cut this short. Haha.

To her:
Honestly, you made me smile all day long *cheesy* The fact of knowing that there's still someone who will listen brightened up my day. Again, thanks a lot ;)

To the group:
I'm not even a part of your hilarious troop but I still want to mention you here. You never fail to make me laugh and that's something I needed for the past weeks. Always check those smiles, some people rely on that.

To the looming future:
Please don't be too hard on me, okay? I'm just as scared and excited as you are for the endless possibilities that can come for the coming months. Just keep me away from the light and I know everything will be alright. (rhymes)

To you:
Somehow, something always brings me back to you. Always. You must be expecting a lot of words but I actually have none. I don't what's up with us, what problem is , or if there is even a problem to begin with.

And then you called. *kroo kroo* Ika ang mayo.
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Better Together - Jack Johnson

You built up a world of magic because your real life is tragic.

2010-01-19T11:50:00.009+08:00

It's sad when people you know become people you knew.
When you walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them.

That's not mine. But I do wish it was because that's all I've been thinking about lately.

On less emotional concerns, the examinations today were far worse than I thought it would be. Now, I can say that I have totally lost my faith in humanity. Hahaha.

A tiny voice in my brain keeps on nagging that I shouldn't study anymore. I haven't had a decent sleep (translation: 8 hours of snoozing and onwards) for like a week now. Goshh. My fate is not being too cooperative this year.

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Brick by Boring Brick - Paramore

Swimming through sick lullabies.

2010-01-18T14:13:00.003+08:00

The rain is flooding the streets.
I'm in dire need of a tutor in Computer Programming.
Curse you, Visual Basic.
A very common headache is about to commence in where-else.
The prom is definitely not something I'm looking forward to.
It's been ages since my last update.
I am famished.
There are plenty of terms to be memorized for tomorrow's exam.
And yeah, the UPCAT results are out right about now.
I so want for this week to end.
The only thing I'm holding onto now is the NIC.
I hope it's real good.
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Mr. Brightside - The Killers

I'll never talk again.

2010-01-05T19:58:00.007+08:00

And I'm doing it all for you. You guys are the best.

"I’ll never talk again. And I’ll never love again. I’ll never write a song, won’t even sing along..."

Then I'm back to being someone I know I'm not.
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Speechless - Lady Gaga

I guess it's half time and the other half's luck.

2010-01-02T16:04:00.003+08:00

My three brothers: Van, Vince and Victor.

As much as I want to boast my wonderful experience in Albay yesterday, I can't. I have a seriously bad headache which has been on since the time we arrived home late last night. I hope my migraine attacks are not back again. They're too much to endure.

Anyway, classes are gonna resume on Monday. Surprise, surprise. Unlike many students of this generation, I actually want to go to school as soon as possible. The boredom here is killing me. And I miss the many people at school. Haha.

Oh, oh, leave me a message here: http://www.yourworldoftext.com/niks
It's just so cooool. Make your own world and I'll leave you a message, okay? :))
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Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble (current LSS)

Pana-panahon ang pagkakataon, maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

2010-01-01T02:43:00.003+08:00

I know graduation-related posts are going to flood the World Wide Web pretty soon, so I'm gonna kick off the posting frenzy right now.

So here it goes.

WTH. I'm gonna graduate in three months. That's three months! And there's still a lot of events to watch out for on those three remaining months. There's my birthday, prom, and.. I don't know what else, but who knows what's gonna happen on those three months. (Okay, I'm gonna stop saying three months now.)

I just wished time would slow down. Even for just a bit. Just a little bit. But since the time-space continuum and all that science baloney have not yet been mastered, that idea is still impossible. Actually, what's worrying me now is the university and the course I'm gonna live with through my college years. That's a big decision in my entire existence and I probably should have made that months ago, but I still haven't. Poor me. Hm. Maybe I'll take a day off from my loaded life (o.O) and do my downtown stroll so I can ponder on some matters.

I intended this post to be semi-sentimental but evidently, I failed. Once again, it's all about my favorite topic in the world: myself. NOT. I'm not a narcissist. It just so happens that I have nothing more to rant about.

Well, that's about it. I want to sleep now. And I should, because that's what the rest of the members of our family have been doing for the past two hours. Haha.

Goodbye, beautiful people of Earth of beyond!
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Kanlungan - Paolo Santos

Like a week that's only mondays, only ice cream never sundaes.

2009-12-29T16:16:00.004+08:00

A remarkably peculiar epiphany dawned upon me just a few moments ago. I am, under some circumstances, an emo.

It's funny to admit, really. But what difference does it make? The word itself is derived from the word emotional. And if you look it up in the dictionary, being emotional is not that bad. If we don't interpret our emotions, we'll be like zombies ordered to function on a certain daily basis.

The truth is, our culture has overstated that term and has associated many things with it. Over time it has been equivalent to side-swept bangs, slashed wrists, eyeliners, noisy guitar riffs, and melodramatic vocals. That's why it's shameful to entertain the fact that you're one of them.

It's closely similar to liking the whole Twilight franchise. I don't like Twilight, just to clear things out. But there are some people out there who actually do, but are ashamed to say so. Because if you say you're a Twilight fan, you're also saying Bella and Edward is the best fictional couple there is, you're secretly praying Edward Cullen is real (but there's no chance he'll ever be, so stop dreaming), and you're a member of every possible Twilight forum. But you're not. Maybe like me, you just find some parts of the plot quite interesting and Jacob Black as one hot werewolf.

It's really peculiar a thought like this ever came to my mind. Especially in a time of giving and merrymaking. And so, I leave you with this video. All of the top 25 tunes of 2009 played together. It's brilliant.

I'm off, I still have some hearts to break. Haha. Enjoy the rest of the week! :)
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Without Love - Hairspray Soundtrack

Wish upon a silver cloud.

2009-12-22T17:28:00.002+08:00

The holidays will give you boredom synonymous to a Saturday that runs for seventy-two hours-- I can attest to that. So with plentyyy of time to kill, I had my first try of putting the macro feature in the camera into use. And alas! Those are the results. The lighting could have been better, but well, who cares.

PS. The idea was originally from Krizzia, so many thanks :)
PPS. They're the presents I got for this year, by the way.

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241 - Rivermaya

You make it easier when life gets hard.

2009-12-22T15:30:00.003+08:00

I've been trying with my utmost efforts not to feel lonely today. Yet like a missed exam in MAPEH or like an increasing debt in your class fund, it's something you can't avoid. I hate this. I partly hate vacations because you have nothing to do but rot and smell in your own friggin' room. It's horrible and it's disgusting. I miss school. I miss tapping Leide's shoulder every chance I get to. I miss Dory's bitter but entertaining passages written on the board. I miss my classmates who call my attention for my mirror/powder/tablet paper. I miss secretly munching at Ma'am Chavez's class. I miss the escape, the bliss SkyFlakes gives every time I hunger. I even miss Sir Jonatz who always tries best to look sharp in his low-waist jeans, visible undies, and Penshoppe shirts. And this is just the Christmas vacation, how much more after graduation(AAH, the g-word)?

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Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Cailat

Love isn't love till you give it away.

2009-12-19T11:13:00.012+08:00

Before my brain heads for another somersault, and while the remnants of last night's party still sting clearly, I will be publishing the customary post-party entry. I won't be narrating you the tales of yesterday anymore. I'm aware that you've had your own parties and principally, ours was boring. Instead, I think I'll just be posting some photos from last night. I do have a lot of those.

I hope you don't get misdirected by the photos. I was there but I don't have, and will never have that courage to take a sip. I still have plenty of years left to enjoy. Well, chow!

**Photos compiled on Paint. Oh yes. Seriously.

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Send It On - Disney Stars

It feels like fourteen carats but no clarity.

2009-12-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. "

— Bob Marley

Again, nothing substantial.

I can't believe my colds are back again.
My immunity is getting weaker by the minute.
It's the first day of my last Intrams in high school today. How ironic.
If you're not going to count Micah's extra sweet gesture, nothing good happened today.
I want to/shall sleep after this.
But then, I can't.
Stupid.
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20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy

I'm not the kind of girl to complicate the past.

2009-12-07T21:29:00.005+08:00

In a pathetic attempt to give my readers (or imaginary friends) their daily fill of my rubbish blabbering, I will be publishing an entry from my Values Ed. journal. This was written on October 14 this year. If you can't read it well (of course you can't), you can click the picture for better resolution. That's 1600 x 1094 pixels of unconcealed thoughts. No erasures. No scratch papers. Just real rants and raves.

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A Love That Will Last - Renee Olstead

And you asked me what I want this year.

2009-12-06T15:17:00.003+08:00

I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things--
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.
Two words: World peace.
Nothing more.

(I feel a need to post a photo here relating to world peace but I can't think of one. So, yeah.)

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Better Days - Goo Goo Dolls

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy.

2009-12-04T23:46:00.006+08:00

My favorite photo from that night. Maybe some things really are built to last. (:

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Across The Universe - The Beatles

Before the icing hits the cake.

2009-12-01T21:16:00.007+08:00

Today marks the first day of December, and as the Slytherin blackboard reminds everyone, it's Christmas in twenty-four days. Well, as far as my calendar is concerned, there are only 5 days that I would gladly be looking forward to this month. And here they are:

December 12 - The Mutya at Lakan Pageant Morning. I know it sucks like a leech (boring) but you, in case are rooting for a specific candidate, must accept that fact and arrive early to reserve yourself a seat. Haha. I'm part of the production staff so that's not a problem for me. Gahh. I'm so excited for this.
December 14 - 17 - The Intramurals. We're seniors now so things are wayy more different. We're no longer the underdogs that three batches spite on. But if they want history to repeat itself, I don't mind. We don't need an ally. We can do bad by ourselves, thank you very much.
December 18 - Christmas Party. Nothing special. I don't actually know why I look forward to this.
December 21 - Chocoholics' 3rd Anniversary. We'll make this one real special since it's the *sniff* last one we'll get in high school.
DECEMBER 25 - It's the most wonderful time of the year. With kids jingle belling and everyone telling... okay, you know the song so I'm going to stop now.

Well, have a happy December everyone! Cheers! :)
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Procastinator - Sandwich

The best thing is that it's happening to you and me.

2009-11-27T22:49:00.004+08:00

I'm happy.

For the first time in a long time, that's a statement affixed with a tone a certainty.
I am happy.
This time I know I'm sure.

:)

And the reason is you.

2009-11-21T21:13:00.006+08:00

So this is what it's like.

You disregard the mathematical equations in front of you on purpose so you can draw a girl. A sad girl holding a cheerless, fixed stare, clasping a closed umbrella, and enduring the heavy downpour. Even before you finish, you realize that the illustration somehow depicts reality, and that it is pure emo-ness. You decide to discontinue but after a minute, decided against it. Your seatmate sees what you are doing and then sneers at your sketch. So you finally stop, tuck the drawing away, and arch your head towards the armrest until your blood gushes to your brain causing you an immediate headache.

You excuse yourself out of the class to consult the canteen because teeming acid channels through your digestive system again. You reach the place of solace but see no delightful Sky Flakes. Crushed, you make your way to your classroom and let a tiny sigh escape from your lips. You convince yourself that you deserve this misery so you sulk in your seat for the rest of the period as a loud protest start in your belly.

You persuade a good friend to buy your favorite Hot Fudge Sundae after class, thinking that it will condensate your depression. Once there, you see the droplets of water from the inside and stare as it plunges to the crowded road. You have always loved the rain but today it seems to be indifferent to you.

The same good friend tries to cheer you up by doing some tricks on your white balloon. You try to fake a laugh but good friend notices that you're faking it anyway. Good friend tells you that you cannot appreciate the effort and walks away from you. Good friend returns to your side and laughs again. You laugh out of modesty and you wonder how good friend manages to be happy despite the many adversaries in life.

You play your music player on shuffle but you skip every upbeat song and instead opt for slow tunes that you hate listening to on ordinary days. But then you realize that 97% of the songs in your play list are happy tunes so you turn the speaker off, and bask in the silence resonating through out your whole household.

So this is what it's like.

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Reason - Hoobastank

Video Phone.

2009-11-19T23:24:00.005+08:00

Lady Gaga looks so weird when she's normal. I'm just saying.

I never lived the dreams of the prom kings and the drama queens.

2009-11-14T22:51:00.008+08:00

Unlike my more fairly talented batchmates, I've been cemented in this piegonhole for the last 24 hours. I have lazed around our house and have manifested the symptoms of Saturday Syndrome: eating excessively, sleeping excessively, channel surfing excessively, and Text Twist-ing excessively.

To make your time worthwhile, I present to you a bland biography of yours truly. I have no idea where this idea came from. Possibly because I'm the ugliest narcissist in the face of the Earth.

Full Name: Veronica Page del Castillo Chavez
Nickname: Nica/Beno/Page/Niks
Birthday: February 24, 1994
Favorite Music: As of the moment: Beyonce, Colbie Caillat, Fall Out Boy, Goo Goo Dolls, Jack Johnson, James Morrison, Jason Mraz, John Legend, John Mayer, Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, Lifehouse, Maroon 5, Oasis, Paolo Santos, Paramore, Panic At The Disco, Pussycat Dolls, Relient K, Sandwich, Sara Bareilles, Smashing Pumpkins, Snow Patrol, Sugarfree, The Academy Is, The Beatles, The Cure, The Script, The Veronicas, Urbandub
Favorite numbers: 7, 11, 16, 23, 24
Favorite colors: blue, yellow, black, white
Favorite days: Wednesday, Friday, Saturday
Favorite months: February, April, December
Favorite food: Pasta, Pizza, Cheeseburgers, Anything that my dad cooks :)
Favorite fruits: Apple, Banana, Green Mango, Strawberry
Favorite vegetables: The green and leafy ones
Favorite sweets: Practically everything. From crinkles to Sansrival to sundaes to frozen yogurts and ice creams to cakes to merchandised chocolate bars-- I love them all.
Favorite shows: Chowder, Phineas and Ferb, Wizards of Waverly Place, TMZ (HAHAHA:D) Frankly, I don't watch the TV that much.
Loves: Good books that doesn't require the dictionary, Good food that I can afford, Good company who knows my brand of humor, Good movies with original plots, Good music with brilliant lyrics, Good weather-- preferably cloudy, Good scents that agree with my sensitive nose, Good events that I can replay to a hundredfold
Hates: Waking up early, Philippine Politics, FROGS, Failing, Memorizing foreign names and languages, Asian teleseryes, Liars, Conformity, Getting sick, Decision-making
Only my closest friends know that: I am always late at meetings scheduled on weekends.
If I had superpowers, it would be: Apparition. No more latecomings!
I admire girls who: can get ready in less than three minutes.
I respect guys who: know how to take rejection like a mature gentleman.
I cannot fall for someone who: loves me more than hisself.
Words I live by: Live for the moment and the moment will live forever :)

40 days 'till the ha-happiest days of all!

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No Such Thing - John Mayer

Lock and load. Baby, let's go!

2009-11-11T23:06:00.007+08:00

"The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one."
-Reason #65 of Why I Hate Twilight

Yes, I am aware that my hatred for Twilight is slightly becoming overrated. But that statement is too good to be just kept to myself. I can't help it. It's one of the few things that has given me great amusement last week.

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Diamond Shotgun - Chicosci

Eyes are stickin' like honey on bees.

2009-11-11T22:05:00.010+08:00

My heart almost literally skipped a beat when I saw this. I've never been a fan of movie adaptations because it discard the essential bits, but I'm surely gonna watch out for this one.

This book is a favorite because:

It accurately encapsulates the pure definition of love.
It also has none of those fabricated scenes that are so impossible to happen.
I love how Savannah and John associate the full moon with their togetherness.
It doesn't have the stereotypical happy ending. SPOILER.
With Channing Tatum, it's a definite win.

Watch the theatrical trailer here.

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Chillin' - Wale ft. Lady Gaga

You say you want a revolution, well you know, we all want to change the world.

2009-11-10T19:15:00.003+08:00

So, it took me a week and a day to refuel my battered nerve cells. And yet I'm here again with another non-committal post saying that I will be avoiding you and yet I can't. Sighh.

Today is probably going to be the most eventful day of the week. Trust me, it wasn't pretty. Especially if you have seen and heard everything firsthand. We're all under the same dilemma and I think the best action is to do the RIGHT thing.

Well, I'll be off. I still have some duty I need to fulfill.

**You give me something that makes me scared, alright.This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try. Please give me something 'cause someday I might know my heart. <33

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Revolution - The Beatles

It's so cliché to tell you that everyday I spend with you is the new best day of my life.

2009-11-02T19:11:00.005+08:00

The 5 Relient K songs I adoooorrre:

Must Have Done Something Right: If anyone can make me a better person you could/ All I got to say is I must have done something good /I came along one day and you rearranged my life / All I got to say is I must have done something right
The Best Thing: I always knew I'd find someone/ I never dreamt it'd be like this/ Cause you've surpassed/ All that I'd hoped for and ever wished/ And I'm trying so hard/ With all my heart and mind/ To make your life as good as you've made mine
Be My Escape: And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity/ And I’ve been locked inside that house/ All the while you hold the key/ And I’ve been dying to get out/ And that might be the death of me/ And even though there’s no way of knowing where to go/ I promise I’m going
Who I Am Hates Who I Have Been: I heard the reverberating footsteps/ Synching up to the beating of my heart/ And I was positive that unless I got myself together/ I would watch me fall apart

Up and Up: I'm on the up and up/ Yeah there's nothing left to prove/ Cause I'm just trying to be/ A better version of me for you/ A better version of me/ For you

I will be limiting my Internet use this week. I've been enslaving myself to this radiated monitor 4 hours a day for 4 consecutive days. Well, that's just not me.

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Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K

Hey, you know this could be something.

2009-11-01T11:16:00.004+08:00

If there is one thing I'd love to finish right now, it will be our Physics PowerPoint presentation. According to the properties of this .ppt file, it was created on Saturday, September 26, 2009, at 2:57:15 PM which means that I have been putting this off for more than a month now (36 days to be exact). The fact that we're the last group is slowly becoming a bad thing. If this was like any other PowerPoint presentation, I would have completed it in a jiffy. But nooo, it's not like any other PowerPoint presentations because it concerns combustion and nanoparticles and iron oxides and all those scientific terms that I can't force to permeate through my hard skull.

Physics is hard. Converting iron oxide back into usable fuel is harder. But making a substantial PowerPoint presentation about it has to be the hardest of all. X(

As promised, here's my list:

The 5 websites I constantly visit

To Do: The tagline speaks for itself: "Post-it notes left to their fate in public places"
Graphic Everywhere: This site holds anything from the odd to the awesome.
I heard it at the movies: Being an absolute movie junkie, this is where I get my dose of funny, cheesy and stirring and movie quotations.
Kiss the stars with me: Incredible, incredible photography
freckles in the sky: I really look up to her powerful nationalism. And she's a good writer.

Your vote, your ONE vote, won’t count. However, if you read up, engage in intelligent political conversations, blog, Tweet, use your Facebook status and convince other people to register and collectively support a candidate, then you can make a difference. If everyone gives importance to their vote, then you have 9 million informed decisions pushing for reform. The youth (defined in the Constutition as 15-30 years old, RA 8044) is 50-60% of the voting populace. Because we have the privilege of being literate and educated, our votes should trump the uninformed, those being blinded by all the uh, colors. Voting isn’t just a right, it’s a responsibility.

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Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift

Leap and the net will appear .

2009-10-31T17:36:00.008+08:00

I have recently finished clearing up the obsolete moss and cobwebs in my room. Various labors kept on coming endlessly that I hardly had time to pile my stuff neatly. Projects, tests, exams, extra-curriculars, comedy, drama, tragedy and romance-- name it, I've had it. The past weeks were a pure fusion of everything about high school and everything in-between. It was tough being stuck in that phase but now that it's partially over, I can't help but think that there's more to come.

On a totally unrelated note, I think my previous post's contents only ranges from movie one-liners to typographies to hello-goodbyes to relatively honest lyrics to random thoughts. And I'm thinking that it can already be bordering on boring. I know a blog is an online journal where you can freely post whatever you please but I think I may be missing something. And yeah, I may be losing my sense of wonder.

I hope you enjoy my new skin. As much as my abilities have let me, I've personalized it by making the photos of my cliques as navigators. That's 123Boom!, CA, and ChocoSugMel! respectively.

Also, from now on, I will be posting a random 5-item list. It can be a list of anything. Favorites, boos, songs--- it could be really anything. And to start off the list is:

The 5 Things I Did Today

Woke up because of Jenny's phone call. I got up but she already hung up.
Painted my toenails a pale plum color. It's really messy since its my first time.
Went downtown to have my school shoes fixed. But the shoe repair shop was closed so I ended up buying the November issue of Candy.
Watched 2 hours of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy non-stop. It's my all-time favorite cartoon.
YouTube-ed the Halloween special of Wizards of Waverly Place. All of them are starting to look so grown-up. Max's voice is more manly. Alex cut and curled her hair and she's putting on make-up now. Justin's hair is not waxed into a shark style anymore, it's all shaggy now.

Okay, that was plain boring. Well, Happy Halloween everyone!
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Make It Mine - Jason Mraz

Your mind's in disturbia.

2009-10-26T22:35:00.005+08:00

Put on your brake lights
You're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise

I'll be back soon. I promise :)
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Disturbia - Rihanna

It's like the darkness is the light.

2009-10-25T14:20:00.007+08:00

Despite my zero alcohol intake, I'm struggling in summoning the events of yesterday night.

Okay, as far as I can recall, I got there some minutes past six donning a gray shirt and a short approximately three inches above my knees. Yes, I did not stick to the strict dress code. Mocked and scorned at, I hurriedly started a pursuit for a black shirt. I wasn't bothered by my short shorts even if most of my batch mates commented on it. Not a minute later than the start of my pursuit, I managed to borrow a spare black shirt from Brene. Problem solved.

After that, I resumed my post at the entrance. While the whole student body was applauding Superman and Supergirl's performance, we were still at the gate welcoming outsiders and alumnus who, like me, are not wearing a black shirt. We (the officers) were all stunned when the emcee suddenly announced that it was time for the oath taking. So we dashed to the lobby and I carelessly tossed my bag in the flagpole. Haha.

We rushed to the entrance again and did the routine: pay, rip and proceed. But upon hearing that they were gonna present the Mutya and Lakan candidates, we dashed to the lobby and sneaked to the front row of the audience. Go Precious from Hufflepuff! Go Miriam! Double-up much? Hahaha.

By the end of the programme, my stomach was rumbling with pain and acid again. Ma'am Chica invited us for free food but I had to resist because of my hyper acidity. So did Cathleen. Since we were both having an overflow of acid in our stomachs, we routed for a bread instead. It was awkward having to stand opposite a person crying in ache and having no power to alleviate that ache. Trust me, it was. So I politely excused myself, and headed to the lobby again, only to find myself being questioned about the inexistence of extension wires.

The minutes of last night advanced on pretty quickly. Although, there were times when things made a sudden shift of pace. One was when I cried. Another was when we were making these silly moves with Sir Jonatz. Third was when Detsub was hamming it up. And lastly, was when Whine Up played through the speakers while I was with my junior classmates. That moment was priceless.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with the number 24, but yesterday was a very very awesome night. It was nothing like how I pictured it. Why? It was much more. Much, much more. ♥

So, how's that for struggling?

"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make..."

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Distubria - Rihanna

Whatever It Takes

2009-10-22T16:32:00.001+08:00

"Any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom."

- Hitch

This is something that I must to do 'cause I realized that it's about time.

2009-10-21T14:06:00.003+08:00

I've convinced myself that I'll verbalize all these sentiments and all these apprehensions on the 21st of this month. It appears rather acerbic since it is after all, a special date to all of us. But I thought, I'd risk it anyway. If they are true friends, they'll understand. But today, I can't hold in or neglect issues that are as real as these anymore.

I type this with a heavy heart and a nagging voice in my head saying that I should not do this. But I want to. I have to.

What happened to us? In the beginning, I thought it was just me and my pretentious little brain who sensed that we are growing distant from each other. But the evidences are there.

I was suppose to post that last Friday but I never got the chance to finish it. Actually, I did have the chance, but I can't muster the right words or the right confidence. Maybe I'm scared or maybe I can't simply accept the fact that we've been in that phase of friendship.

Today, for the first time after a really long time, we had our traditional eat-and-chat. The food was fine with its generous serving of buttered chicken. The chat, however, was one big jolt of information. Maybe for them it's not, but for me, a resident of IV - C, it was all a shock. I still can't move on about some facts.

Even with reference to today's date, I did not greet any of them a happy blahh. I don't know. Earlier this day, I didn't see the sense of it but now, maybe. Just maybe.

A shameless plug:

Sci-Yawan
October 24, 2009, Saturday, 7-12 pm
P 20.00 admission ticket
Dress code: anything black
Dance, Dance, Dance!
P.S. Altogether let's pray for a wonderful weather. Thanks :)

______________________________
True Friends - Airto

Now I’m just trying to be honest with myself, with you, with the world.

2009-10-05T19:46:00.007+08:00

I see your face in my mind as I drive away, cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way. People are people, and sometimes, we change our minds. But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time. Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie. It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see. Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down. Now I don’t know what to be without you around. And we know it’s never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me. You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand. And I can’t, breathe, without you. But I have to, breathe, without you. But I have to. Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt. Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve. But people are people, and sometimes it doesn’t work out. Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out. It’s two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend. Hope you know it’s not easy, easy for me.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy. Never a clean break, no one here to save me. And I can’t, breathe, without you. But I have to, breathe, without you. But I have to.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

______________________________
Give Love A Try - Nick Jonas

A sense I never knew I had.

2009-10-01T23:14:00.005+08:00

Falling in love should be easy, right? I mean it should be just like. . . falling. Effortless yet amazing. But why am I having a hard time? -On falling in love

Nothing important. I just thought of that earlier. Hmm. Lemme know what you think, okay?

______________________________
My Heroine - Silverstein

Hold on to your words 'cause talk is cheap.

2009-09-30T20:33:00.006+08:00

My day started with my almost-tardy attendance, Lala's shocking trouble, my relentless anxiety for the improvised backdrop, my incomplete Math homework, the ruined time-frame, the unrehearsed intermissions and my frequent trips to the canteen, faculty room and 1 - Hephaestus.

My day is almost ending with a sore arm, leg and shoulder, heavy loads of homework, a stomach that has released too much air because of laughing but is still empty, drowsy eyes, a cluttered desk, and a more cluttered head.

In between these two were: cramming, a Kim Bum hysteria, an unsought argument in front of the whole class, a one-in-the-afternoon lunch, hilarious jokes, a perfect test (Pampadagdag lang. Bleh.), tracks that are playing in repeat, the Cristine Reyes and Noah incidents, and more, more cramming.

Summing it up, this day was great-- and that doesn't come too often this year. I'm so tired yet so happy. Nothing else comes close to the oddness I'm feeling. I wish tomorrow's going to be as good as today. And the day after that. And the day after tomorrow's tomorrow. Hah!

I can't keep to myself all these things I would initially hide. I'm too frightened of regret. But what if I didn't try to let you know what's going on 'cause to let it go just can't be done?
-Give It, The Out of Body Special

P.S. I had my braces removed last Monday. But mother says I'm still bound to wear a retainer.
P.P.S. Herbert says he heard "choomboombleh" in You Make It Real (James Morrison).

______________________________
Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade

I’m finding that you and you alone can break my fall.

2009-09-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

"Nostalgia - it's delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek, 'nostalgia' literally means 'the pain from an old wound.' It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship, it's a time machine. It goes backwards, and forwards... it takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called the wheel, it's called the carousel. It let's us travel the way a child travels - around and around, and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved." ---Mad Men episode 113, "The Wheel"

I can't think of anything to write. Must be because of the whether. Gosh. It must be 20 degrees outside.

______________________________
Learning to Breathe - Switchfoot

Falling, yes I am falling.

2009-09-20T21:28:00.005+08:00

Eh saan ka naman mahuhulog?
Hindi ko alam.

Eh bakit mo pa nilagay yan?
Sa malayo, ang iisipin na mga makakakita nito, nahuhulog ako para sa isang tao. Ang totoo, para akong nahuhulog mula sa isang milyong talampakang gusali. Tapos bubudburin ako sa isang milyong piraso para lang ipakain sa mga manok sa bukid.

Ang arte mo naman.
Hindi ako maarte 'no. Ganito talaga ako sa normal kong kondisyon. Hindi ko lang masyadong pinapakita.

Ows?
Oo. Kung ayaw mo maniwala eh di 'wag. Sino ka nga pala?

Isang maliit na boses sa utak mo na: ikaw ang gumawa, gustong lumabas kaso pilit mong hinaharangan at isang guni-guni na inimbento mo para libangin ang iyong sarili.
Bakit naman ako maniniwala sa'yo?

Kasi ako ay ikaw. Tayo ay iisa. Tayong dalawa. Hahaha. Ang baduy ko pala. Parang ikaw.
Ewan ko sa'yo. Matutulog na'ko. Bukas wala ka na.

Tingnan lang natin. Hindi mo ko kayang i-terminate. Hindi ako tulad ng isang palabas sa TV na kina-cancel kapag hindi nagcli-click sa masa.
*Signature taray look* Whatever.

______________________________
I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles

Goodnight, goodnight.

2009-09-19T22:19:00.007+08:00

"There are many types of ships. There are wooden ships, plastic ships
and metal ships. But the best and most important type of ships is friendship."
I'm not sure if that's a joke or what. I just miss them so much that it
made me blog about them for completely no reason at all. Dramaa.

By the way,
Who is the cutest?

______________________________
Goodnight, Goodnight - Maroon 5

Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

2009-09-12T15:34:00.004+08:00

Michael Jackson remix @ Yahoo! Video

Watch it! Watch it!

______________________________
Man In The Mirror - Micheal Jackson

It may sound cliché but I'm here to stay.

2009-09-11T18:46:00.005+08:00

One word, seven letters, cleared everything out.

______________________________
Two Things - Urbandub

Love burns brighter than sunshine.

2009-09-09T18:56:00.006+08:00

I find it really hard to write again. Ever since that incident, I feel like my knack for writing is obstructed by some invisible hedge. I mean, come on. How can I put into words all these pent-up feelings and release it one forceful blow? Before, it appeared easy. I never had much to say and my decision was final. But after a couple of days, friends intervened and dilemmas surfaced. Now, I feel plagued by all the biotic and abiotic factors (Biology! :D). If I choose this, he may never speak (chat) to me ever again and I will lose the friendship that has been built for the past month. If I choose that, I will finally settle the issue that has been going on between us since our sophomore year. What the hell will I do? Anong gusto mong gawin 'ko?

Hindi mo lang alam,
Takot lang akong masaktan.
Iniingatan lang aking puso.
Kung maiibibigay ko lang ang sinasabi mo,
'di na sana tayo nagkakaganito.
Pasensya ka na kung hanggang dito muna tayo.
-Tulak ng Bibig, Julianne

______________________________
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung

Well, my heart went "boom," when I crossed that room.

2009-09-03T18:24:00.004+08:00

At the moment, I have three sorts of fluid within my reach: a bottle of orange juice, a liter of lukewarm water, and another bottle of harvested honey from Albay. I'm gradually taking each in turns in the hope of getting rid of my nauseating cough and colds.

If not for German's status message on YM the other day, the fact that we're on the breach of September wouldn't penetrate my solid skull that much. I know it has been said a million times before, but time flies really fast. But come to think of it, time doesn't fly. Time ticks. Time is gold. Time is wasted. Time is wasted by yours truly.

My brother's shoving me off the computer chair. Maybe that's an indication that I should really write that letter. Well, maybe I should.

Ba-ba-booom!

______________________________
I Saw Her Standing There - The Beatles

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright .

2009-08-28T22:23:00.004+08:00

The day has ended.
The sun has set.
The blinds have closed.
The last show has concluded.

It's still not working out.
It's still driving you(?) crazy.
The usuals are still being continued.
Nothing is still cleared out.

And you're still the friend na may yiih.

______________________________
Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

When it rains on this side of town, it touches everything.

2009-08-27T20:02:00.009+08:00

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain.

I love how the drips of rain produce an enchanting harmony as it fall on the roof. I love how beautiful it is looking at each tiny droplet, and watching it magically splatter into a thousand molecules. I love how a mass of people dash for cover against the gentle rain. I love how the temperature is perfectly fitting for a quick or a deep slumber. And of course, let's not forget the food. The cozy chows will not only warm your whole system but will also heighten your laziness(Haha [:).

But there is this one thing I hate about the rain. Getting my feet wet.

I know that rain equates to water, and that water is further linked to wetness; but I just hate it when my toes get soaked by who-knows-what. Just imagine the microbes, the cigarette butts, the scraps of plastic and the spit. The spit! That's the thing I hate the most.

I just hope it will not rain this hard or this often for the next days. Less than two weeks from now is our first parade. And we are so far from ready.

Anyway.

A silent combat has been going on. Of course, the backstabbing and the rumormill is inevitable. But no matter how serious it gets, I will suppress the urge to fight back. I'm not that stupid to stoop down to his very low level. I know better than that.

______________________________
When It Rains - Paramore

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

2009-08-24T20:58:00.006+08:00

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
-John Mayer, Love Song For No One

Try listening to this after listening to Sana (Up Dharma Down), Chasing Pavements (Adele) and Tumatakbo (Mojofly). Tingnan lang natin kung hindi ka maging jaded.

______________________________
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

2009-08-23T13:50:00.007+08:00

It's just another normal Sunday afternoon.

Just like the past Sunday afternoons that have come and gone, I stretch the hours by either reading a new book, enslaving myself to the World Wide Web or dozing off like a fat lazy cat. But seeing that I have done all of the mentioned diversions, I'm going to do something else instead.

I'm going to tell you how I feel.

If you are one of those few persons who keep track of this blog, you're going to consider this as unusual, something that can happen only on an odd occasion. But I am presuming that you are not;so I'm going to carry on.

I feel beaten. The first quarterly exams have just ended but we, the seniors, are set to face another exam. The NCAE (National Career Aptitude Examination). Moreover, the administration modified our schedules to install an intense whole-week review which is composed of two hours each for Math, Science, English and Manipulative Reasoning. All of these equates to one word: stress.

I feel excited. Less than a month from now, all the sweat, the heat, the early morning jogs and the late walk in Park will be over. Last march, last parade. Simply writing it sends quiver down my spine. I really have to make this count.

I feel compelled. Lala and I are in-charge for the literary edition. The date of publication is roughly two weeks from this time; and we still haven't created a first draft. Boooo.

I feel dazed and confused. And I know you know why.

______________________________
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

Ako, sila'y nandito na. Ikaw na lang ang kulang.

2009-08-18T20:55:00.020+08:00

To understand a person's demeanor, we must take into consideration what was and what is. Just like how we study history. Just like how we evaluate a text (Pagsusuri ng Teksto ayon sa Teoryang Humanismo). We look into the past, and the present.

So we start from the end.

And by that, I mean I will refer to the first of my one hundred forty-three posts.

So here it goes.

After 1118 days, I still carry the same name, reside in the same zip code, and sleep in the same hour. I still loiter around the same corridors, publish paragraphs in the same blog, and interact with the same population. I still bore myself with boring things during boring Saturdays, still consider Jason Mraz as one of my favorite artists, still look forward for the annual Traslacion and still stir my mentality by looking at sunsets. I still consume a maximum of five hours in front of a radiated monitor, still don't accomplish homeworks at home, still repel any matter associated with Math, and still envision myself as a thriving astronaut after ten years or so.

But after 1118 days, I managed to renounce my patronage for Hale (It was just in my sophomore year when I realized that the lyrics of Hale are so cold), appreciate people not for their looks but for their values and relinquish the devil inside of me that got used to double-crossing.

I was able to do a production number and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students, speak in a fake British accent and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students, and sing “Brighter Than Sunshine” out of pitch––– and embarrass myself in front of a large mass of students.

I had three different hairstyles that were TORMENTED by people who may or may not care. I watched every multimillion-dollar fight of Manny Pacquiao and watched as Jinky get pregnant after every significant fight. I witnessed, for the very first time, a guy fell flat with his face to the floor. I protested against Apocalypse, our awful former batch name, and helped restore peace and order among classes. I was named as one of the members of the association that people feared and bowed down to upon hearing its name, The Chocoholics Association (Or Alpha Phi Tsokkolati) :D.

I received the first bouquet of flowers in my entire life(HAHAHA). I stumbled over the mini-fences in our school which caused a big lump of discoloration in my left leg. I used to get really doubtful because I never had a real crush. And then he came. I used to believe that I truly love him. But after a month, I realized that I still don't even understand what love is.

I was surrounded by people who always ate, rarely followed the rules, and never made a moment dull. I have cut class three times in the same subject, have dressed up like some eccentric, glorified superstar that was already verging on foolish, and have endured the relentless migraine and hyper acidity attacks that almost altered most of my moods.

I stepped once on our door at precisely 9 o'clock in the evening without my parents' consent. And that produced unkind words in my father's mouth and a week of suspicions and distrust. I stepped once into the door of a respected restaurant, sat for a while as the waiter handed the menu over, only to realize that I don't have enough money. So, WE hastily created a rational reason and excused ourselves out. Thus, we just ate at the restaurant beside it. The cheaper restaurant beside it.

I have swam twice in the same pool without my parents knowing. I did not sleep for a night for a group project that I completed all by myself . But I still got the highest score among our batch for an English exam that was scheduled the next day (HAHAHA, Arrogance much?) I have perfected two examinations so far, one of them being Trigonometry (I'm so proud!). I have turned down a suitor in one precise, calculated motion because I know I'm not ready yet. I belonged to two peer groups that immediately crumbled after a year. I played and won a volleyball game without using my hands (Hi Bea!). I forced myself into liking two freshman boys (not at the same time, of course) just so I can make use of my free time wisely.

And I am now cutting this autobiography short because I've been writing it for two days and I haven't had a decent sleep since the stressful exam week.

But you know, despite of every transient detail, one thing remained unchanged. Choomboombleh is still choomboombleh. It may have different versions but it will always be the word that means nothing but can still mean everything. It’s timeless.

______________________________
Sana - Up Dharma Down

Hope it gives you hell.

2009-07-09T20:26:00.002+08:00

I am on a writer's block. Although I'm not officially known as a writer, I still want to use that 'cause it looks pretty cool. For unknown reasons, I just suddenly lost the ability and enthusiasm to produce new tangible posts. A lot has been going on, mind you. And it's not just the usual drama, this time, it's different. Might be because we're seniors now. Hmp. I really don't give a damn.

There were lessons learned.

2009-07-02T11:20:00.006+08:00

FOR TLE IV

We've been tasked to reveal the things that we have acquired for the past weeks.

My first notion when I heard that we're going to study Computer Programming is that it's going to be more on the hardware. Like fixing computer circuits and cables and such. But when the subject came, my thought was wrong.

So far, we have discussed the matters regarding flowcharts and algorithms. It has been pretty good so far. I can easily relate it to life because we need to undergo failures and downfalls before we finally get it right. No pain, no gain - the old aphorism goes.

But it's not always pain. Learning computer programming in a fun way is beneficial to all of us because it teaches us how to learn one step at a time.

-Veronica Chavez

I'm your biggest fan. I'll follow you until you love me.

2009-07-01T09:33:00.002+08:00

I haven't blog for awhile. Our computer is so rotten, it's better to push it to the drain. Hahaha. Nah. I'm just kidding. Actually, I'm using the computer access in our school right now. We told Ma'am Cathy we're going to use it for school paper purposes. That's partly true but apparently, not for me.

I don't know when I'm going to resume my writing. Hmm. I miss blogging, though. Everyone's into the blogging-thing again since our TLE teacher is requiring us. And the stupid Facebook. I don't think I'll join the Bandwagon. I'm better off without it.

I think this is goodbye. Our next class is Math. Yehey! - not. Pssh.

The right kind, the right line, or the right time to say almost anything that's right.

2009-06-09T21:30:00.004+08:00

I lost my wallet today.

Well, more of a coin purse actually. A square, violet coin purse.

I'm not even regretful and sulky at all. Maybe because it contained only a small amount of money.

I don't mind if I don't retrieve it anymore. God has His own reasons.

As you can see, I'm renovating my blog-- both for personal and school purposes. It's not even done yet. No self-description, no mugshot, no links and no interesting extras. Like I said, I'm not done yet. The headers, by the way, are from the songs of Mr. A - Z, Jason Mraz.

And also, there's this new singer that I'm getting fond of. His name is Airto Moreira. Right now, he's only a YouTube singing sensation but I won't be surprised if he gets big in the music industry someday. He has a really amazing voice. And he knows how to play the piano. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lucky guy. Here's his rendition of John Mayer's Dreaming With A Broken Heart.

This is the last time to get it right .

2009-06-05T21:18:00.007+08:00

WE NOW HAVE READY INTERNET CONNECTION. WOOHOO! I CAN SING!

I've almost forgotten the swinging sensation that comes by whenever my fingertips interacts with our black keyboard. Yeah. I'm that dramatic. Now I can use and abuse our internet access whenever I wish to. Yahoo!

Moving on.

I have just officially gone through the first week of my last year. Does it really has to be that ironic? Pssh. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a tough year, though. And I hate it. I hate the fact that barely nine months from now, we'll be waving our bitter goodbyes and we will be attending who-knows-what universities. I hate the fact that we are the only senior section that is situated upstairs. I hate the fact that the classroom we happen to be occupying is the stupid and sultry computer lecture room. I hate the fact that by now, the only positive thing about our class is our convinient television (We can watch Wowowee and Kambal Sa Uma without difficulty. HAHA. Yeahright. Like that helps). I really, really hate the fact that our section name is IV - GRYFFINDOR (IV - C is a fat lot better and is easier to write). I hate the fact that people expect us to behave and act like role models for younger levels when I know all we want to do is get loud and noisy and enjoy the remaining time in NCSHS- fountain of truth, eternal source of strength :)

And I really, really, really hate the fact that Filipino is our last subject. Enough said. XD

I think I'll be blogging more than usual. Emphasis on the word think since sometimes my thoughts are wrong. But then again, I'll try.

Get ready, get set, Kim Bum Bum Pow, I'm back.

And let the good times roll in case God doesn't show.

P.S. There are still more "I hate the fact that" but some of it are mean enough for me to be sent to the guidance office.

Asta Lavista, Beybe. :)

If life won't wait, I guess it's up to me.

2009-05-26T10:29:00.004+08:00

So many things to say, yet so little time.

There's actually a LOT of things roaming around my mind. From the imminent first day of my senior year to the submission of my application forms for college to the film adaptation of Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides To Die and even up to the very publicized sex scandal of Katrina Halili (hindi ako magpapahuli!)

The return of our steady internet connection is still a far-fetched proposition.

I don't even know when my methodical life will come back.

All I know is that Kim Bum(?) of Boys Over Flowers looks a lot like Hayden Kho. HAHAHAHAHA:)

Hanggang kailan ka inosente? Katorseee.

It doesn't matter how I feel, my lips are sealed.

2009-04-18T15:53:00.005+08:00

So. There I was. An unfulfilled incoming senior student walking the corridors of my beloved institution, somehow waiting for Unforgettable to knock into my doorstep.

I thought I was done waiting.

Until that uneventful day of April came.

I'd rather not talk. Wait, erase. I'd rather not talk yet.

*I hope you understand this post. I know it's lame. Waa. This long distance is killing me. HUHU:( I won't be updating for a while. There's no internet access in our humble home. You get the idea.

This is not goodbye. Never goodbye, just later. :)

One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean. :)

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight ?

2009-02-19T18:03:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: I'm Lost Without You by Blink 182

Edward: "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU BELLA but I can't be with you because it's dangerous. YET I'M GOING TO STALK YOU ANYWAY and by the way, I'm a vampire and I love the smell of your blood. Then once I'm with you, I'm going to DISAPPEAR and destroy your life then come back and get all jealous over a werewolf who's YOUNGER than both of us and I'm not going to let you sleep with me until we're married - oh wait, I change my mind, just as you don't want too. By the way, I'll change you into a vampire once we're married and we can go out and suck blood together. Oh and I sniff sharpies and do heroine."

Bella: "OMG Edward I LOVE YOU AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU. I'm going to give up my LIFE for you and everything worthy about being human and destroy my parent's lives and hurt a million people just for you because I love you and I can't live without you even though you told me being a vampire totally SUCKS. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH EDWARD but I'm still going to go and KISS your arch enemy the WEREWOLF because I love him TOO, even though I'm engaged to you!! Oh, but wait I love you more. And no, I don't want to marry you right now, but yes, I want to be a vampire and be with you for the rest of my life. Yes, I want to sleep with you now, but wait - now that you want to I kinda want to do things right and wait."

Okay. I did not make that. I found that in the internet while I was purposely scanning for Anti-Twilight pictures while the Twilight hype was on a high. Good thing it has ceased already. It's really annoying. Everyone knew Twilight and they worshiped it like it was some divine creed or something. I can't even see why it was so. And they even dared to compare it to the Harry Potter series. Duh. Half of it won't even amount to J.K.'s mad writing skills. But there's no point in saying this. They're all in-love with the perfect Edward Cullen. Shameful psychos.

However, that does not lead me to the point of this entry. The truth is, I'm sick. And by sick , I mean being physically unwell and bedridden. This caught me off-guard since I have a strong resistance against illnesses and I normally get sick once every two years. I think this is what I get for those stupid wishes. Boohoo. I hope it doesn't last until Saturday. You know what I mean.

A sinking call, an out of sight hello.

2009-02-09T19:35:00.004+08:00

Now Playing: December 2 Chapter VII by Taken by Cars

It's again that time of the year where roses are red, the music is set for the mood and the moon is like an egg yolk hanging on the vast dark sky. It's not Valentines Day, it's the penumbral lunar eclipse.

Of course, that was a joke.

The V-Day has gone and past my 14 (almost 15) years of existence, and leaving only chocolates that have been stored as fat, greetings and smiles from friends and that rose I got from my freshman year.

I'm not complaining. I'm young and I know that shouldn't get involve at a young age. But there is something that bugs me.

How come I never get lucky in love? My crush always end up with a girl (and they're just freshmen, mind you) and the unfortunate lads (yes, that's in plural form :D ) who had a liking for uhhm. . . me is not someone I want, or rather not someone I could want.

I'm so stupid for even opening this topic. I guess it's just that I don't give love much second thought and I'm afraid I'll end up like my sister. She's 20 years old but still cold this V-Day.

But for whatever it's worth, Cupid, point that arrow at me. :)

Oh shit.

2009-01-31T23:22:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: Until the End of Time by Justin Timberlake

I try to vent my sentiments and anticipations through words. And profanity is not an exemption. Worry not, my dear friend, it's a free country.

WHAT'S ON VERONICA'S MIND

The debate. On which the topic will be whether the Philippines needs communism, yes or no. Our teacher will tell us which side we're going to defend on the day of the debate itself so that's going to be pretty hard. And of course, with the my predictable misfortune, I was chosen to be a speaker. A third speaker, to be more accurate. Which means I am one of those who will get caught with the war of words. The other one is Denise. I think that should help, since Denise is good with fights.

The presentation. Surprisingly I'm not that worried with the idea of dancing. Honestly, I don't care so much anymore. What I do worry though, is the group's performance as a whole. We didn't thoroughly practiced all of the steps today and most of us are not good dancers. Hay naku. Whatever.

The training. I think everybody sees me doing this every afternoon. It's not that bad as I thought it's going to be. That counts as a good thing, right?

The dance. Of course, the dance, the prom. No matter how I call it, it's still the same. As the event grows more imminent, the more the people are getting abuzz, which is a natural phenomenon, I understand. Good thing I've already found a beautiful gown. But I think could already be nominated as the next Disney princess because of its style. Nevertheless, its far better than the dress Bella wore at her prom. Hahaha. It's the leggings, you know.

The card. The 3rd Quarter distribution of cards is set on February 14. I think it's still far so I don't fret too much.

The test. We have a unit test on World War I and II on Monday. I'll add this so I won't forget.

The V-day. Speaking of February 14, how will I celebrate my February 14? I'm not looking for something you-know-what. All I really want is a box of crinkles. Or brownies.

The recipes. Deadline: Friday, February 6. We're asked to make a compilation of the recipes we've made the past three quarters, and I haven't even started yet.

The 15th birthday. Of course, my birthday should not be forgotten. Crap. I'm getting old.

The apple of my eye. Last, but definitely not the least. I'm not giving up and I don't mind, I don't care. I don't mind that he's still not over her and I don't care, that in his eyes, she's the prettiest. What I have is something not worth giving up.

It's kinda late but happy birthday.

2009-01-31T22:41:00.001+08:00

Ma'am Elisa, it's your birthday.
God bless you this day.
You gave us the gift of a good adviser,
and I'll be good to you today.

Ma'am Elisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Ma'am Elisa.
I wish you love and goodwill.
I wish you peace and joy.
I wish you better than your heart desires.

Ma'am Elisa, it's your birthday.
Happy birthday, Ma'am Elisa.

YEAH!

P. S. Hindi ako sumisipsip. Ako'y sincere at natural na isang mabuting bata.

Supah Papalicious

2009-01-24T20:12:00.004+08:00

Nakakalaglag ng panty. Pati na rin brief. :)

So what's the point in all of this when you will never change?

2009-01-24T18:50:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: Between the Lines by Sara Bareilles

What is the point? Of course a point is a dot, a dot on the letter i or at the end of a statement. Crap. That's not what I mean and you're missing the point. But, what is the point?

Earlier this afternoon, with Lianne and Nat, I stormed the bridal stores downtown to look for a gown. Its for the prom, which is less than a month from now. Gowns, masks, flair, romance and all. Frankly, I'm just giddy and nervous about the whole picture. I'm sure it's a night that everyone's looking forward for.

I don't know what else to say. I think next time I'll open up about my imminent birthday, the not-so-recent oath taking of Obama or my haircut that as my classmates say, resembles the hair of our assistant librarian or my batch mate. What the hell. I don't give a damn.

I'm not dense. I just had a slight lack of common sense.

2009-01-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

Now Playing: Geek In The Pink by Jason Mraz

I said I'll keep everything recent posted after the exam, but I didn't. I always do that. And I never understood why.

In fact, there are countless things that I never got to the point of figuring out.

Like how a supposedly stern subject, now verges on melodramatic. Yes, melodramatic. And I'm not overstating that.

Or how something so divine, something so true, is still stuck with her. And her is congruent to. . . I don't know, but definitely not him (and by him, I mean the something divine and true :) ).

Or how the heart presses to see something that the eyes cannot. Oh diba. Anlalim nun ah. You don't need eyes to see. Parang magic.

And for the last two things, and probably the most important: why the hell do my teeth hurt so much? And why do we need to learn the sine and cosine curves? Would it solve the LPG-crisis that is causing everyone to panic today? No, it won't. Of course it won't.

There's beauty in breakdown.

2009-01-15T14:29:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: So Close by Jon Mclaughlin

So far, so good, I thought. It was quite simple, actually. They were once together but now it's over. There's no point in crying over spilled milk, right?

Or am I wrong? Oh well. It is not my business, anyway. Its theirs.

I hope tomorrow's gonna be a breeze, considering its the last day of the exams. And before I end this, I just want to announce that my literary skills (or whatever I thought I had) will make its reappearance soon after the quarterly examination, which is by Saturday, I think.

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.
We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it."

We're slow dancing in a burning room.

2009-01-10T18:38:00.002+08:00

Now Playing: My Heroine by Silverstein

And so, as promised, I will now recount the incidents of last night's celebration.

Well, it must have been the Christmas breeze stroking our skins, or the chants and eagerness exuded by the witnesses, that made these two young souls sing their hearts out. It was a sweet and lovely sight, considering that he had croaky voice that night and she was afraid that she'd cry at the sound of his melodic voice.

That was last December. In fact, that was last year. Things are different now. Way more different.

Hello, beautiful people of Earth and beyond. Yes, I am still alive. :)

You don't have to earn my love if I just give it.

2008-11-28T21:09:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: Big Yellow Taxi by Counting Crows feat. Vanessa Carlton

Happy Birthday BESPREN!

Stories about the super duper kilig birthday bash will follow. I promise. :)

I want to be forever young.

2008-11-17T23:16:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: Dancing in the Moonlight by Fools Garden

I forgot my color pencils, the one I should be using for my Filipino homework.

I forgot my handout in Research at the counter of which I paid my new ballpoint pen. That said handout exhibits our very, very challenging assignment which is due tomorrow.

I forgot to retrieve my yellow hard-bounded diary from Lala.

I forgot to ask Micah about that thing she promised me about.

And apparently, I forgot to remember that I will stay up until 10:30 today.

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever
Forever, forever
But then, who wants to live forever? (I'm pretty sure Edward Cullen devotees are raising both of their hands)

Good fight and Good night.

So sweet I can hardly speak due to such trauma in my teeth.

2008-11-15T21:27:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: Risque by Cute Is What We Aim For

In this instant, I'm going to write everything that pops out of brain. Everything. No deleting.
No hitting of the arrow above the Enter key. Gawd, that's going to be hard. Or maybe not.

Okay, let's start this morning. My whole system suppose to come to life at 5am since we have this practice two hours later. But because of the gooey liquid that keeps on dripping out of my nose, I preferred not to. Oh well, I'll be prepared for my prize on Monday.

My parents went to Goa earlier this afternoon and they'll be back tomorrow. Which means I can use the computer until I want to. Haha. Like you care.

In other news, I think I'll be blogging more regularly. That's not a promise, but more like a pledge of loyalty I owe to this blog somehow. It's been three years full of words anyway, so why stop it immediately?

Win together, lose together, teammates. But in our case, win! Congrats Sb! :D

P.S. I pressed the back-space key. Boom de Yada!

The World Is Just Awesome.

2008-11-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

I love the mountains
I love the clear blue skies
I love when great whites fly
I love the whole world
And all its sights and sounds
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love the ocean
I love real dirty things
I love to go fast
I love Egyptian kings
I love the whole world and all its craziness
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
I love tornadoes
I love Arachnids
I love hot magma
I love the giant squids
I love the whole world
Its such a brilliant place
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada
Boom De Yada

- This is perhaps, the best commercial I've ever seen. Its premiere was months ago, but the song is always stuck in my head. Like now. But what the hell, the world really is just awesome -- no questions asked. :)

If I were a boy, I think I could understand.

2008-11-10T22:51:00.005+08:00

Now Playing: I'm Yours by The Script

As scared as I am to spill all my guts in this letter, I'd favor brutal honesty rather than to complicate matters because of mixed hints and insinuations.

Those conversations we've been having for days now were truthfully and most likely the closest encounter I had to dating. Yes, as awkward as it seems, it was. Thus, that explains my safe and short replies.

I really had no intention of upsetting you or placing you in a predicament like this. And if what you said were true, you didn't have to end your "commitment" just like that either.

I’ve always been taken aback by the idea of love but I guess this time it's different. Now that I've personally faced the multifaceted concept of it, all it has done is leave me anxious and terrified.

So here it goes, the lamest, the most pathetic excuse that I can think (besides the fact that I'm still very, very young).

I don't know you and you don't know me. That's it, I’ve said it. Maybe the one above sounds more reasonable, but you wouldn’t accept it so my brain has devised a more logical justification.

So maybe we’ve been acquaintances since our freshmen year and yes, we’ve been exchanging messages for the previous weeks. But that proves nothing yet.

Or let’s say we can begin in the get-to-know-each-other stage. But how long will I, will you keep up with it?

---------------------------------
SYNOPSIS: Or suppose all the words I’ve just typed are now ignored since they’re mainly incoherent and random,

One good stretch before our hibernation.

2008-10-30T20:04:00.001+08:00

Now Playing: In The End by Linkin Park

Sa totoo lang, kanina ko pa tinititigan yang pakindat-kindat na linya. Parang kulisap na walang tigil sa pagkislap.

The previous days have been tough and sore for almost every soul in our batch. Gratifying victories not only demanded strenuous practices and rehearsals, but also joint efforts and acceptance for everyone's individuality.

Ngunit ako'y nakatitiyak na hindi yan ang pinagmumulan ng aking lumalaking diperensya sa ulo. Nawala na ang dating ako na ngumingiti at humahalakhak sa bawat hampas at hagupit ng aking kapalaran. Halos lahat ng bagay, mali, lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay nagbibigay lang sa akin ng rason para isara ang utak, para matulog ulit.

This phenomenon always arise at the most incovenient times. Times when I needed to believe in myself, when I've hold onto something that really mattered, when I've wanted something at full grasp.

Pero, siguro yan na nga ang nakaguhit sa aking palad. Siguro.

Of course, its not. Its time for a CHANGE! Changes will start tomorrow and will start for good.

----------
Tulungan mo ako ulit Lord. Sige na, please?

Better in Time

2008-10-28T18:41:00.003+08:00

Now Playing: The Gift by Angel and Airwaves

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want.

Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle is gonna come from, the next smile, the next wish come true.

But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for.

The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it?

Good. Now believe in it, with all your heart.

-----
My brain is doing somersaults again. Oh men.

The Pros and Cons of Breathing

2008-10-12T19:36:00.006+08:00

Now Playing: Seven Days by Craig David

Sa pag-ibig, kahit na masaktan ka o lumuha pa, ang mahalaga marunong kang maglaba at hindi ka takot mamalantsa dahil ang magaling magsaing ay may katapat na tunay kanin; tandaan mo na ang buhay ay hindi isang piraso ng papel na pwedeng ibato sa nagliliyab na apoy, na kapag isinubo at napaso ay maaaring iluwa sa batis na kay tamis, na hindi kayang pantayan ang kislap ng brilyante ng mga diwata sa kagubatan.

-Walang kwenta! Yes! Malapit na magsem-break. Wahahaha. Konting puyat at pagod na lang, matatapos na ang lahat.

ALL HAIL NAGA CITY SCIENCE HIGH SCHOOL! :D

And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do.

2008-09-27T22:13:00.007+08:00

Now Playing: Decoy by Paramore

Today, this girl doesn’t feel like talking about herself. In fact, she feels like talking to herself. Which principally means she’ll be asking and answering her own questions. Which principally means she’s a strange, strange person who still doesn't know the right way to spend a constructive Saturday evening. And you, most certainly, shouldn’t be reading about this if you wish to make this day a rational one, but you know you will anyway.

Why do you write about yourself in the third person?
Because it's different. And being different is cool. Very cool.

And do you think you're a cool person?
In the most un-modest, un-pa-humble manner, I don't think I'm cool. Because besides the fact that I don't think, cool is not the right adjective to describe myself. There are over a million words in the English dictionary and I'll rather be illustrated as quirky, spontaneous and playful.

You mean like a child?
Yes, like a child.

But you are 14 years old, right?
Yes, I am 3 days, 7 months and 14 years old. Can you ask a different question? This is getting pointless.

Okay. So, what are your likes and dislikes?
I love mocha-flavored food, apples, listening to drip of the rain, typing the very last word of revision in our research and books that put me to sleep. I hate being exposed in the midday sun, Joe Jonas' growing hair which in retrospect doesn't suit him, tripping over infront of my crush because I've stared at his eyes too much that I forgot to see where I'm walking and marshmallows. Come to think of it, I hate marshmallows that's been mixed with melamine more. I hate marshmallows in general, because all sort of brain waves rushes into my head whenever I chew it. I do like chocolate marshmallows, though. And Kung Fu Kids' Marsh.

Why are you so weird?
I already told you, it's cool. But I'll also blame my family, or Demi Lovato's grin, or my childhood years or our country's dwindling economy. But unfortunately, there's no correct answer to this question.

Is your title inspired by Miley's hit single?
Yep. Almost everything about Miley Cyrus royally annoys me, but I actually find this song pretty cool. Mostly because, no matter how many times she denies this, it’s about Nick Jonas—and I heart Joe Jonas. I want to marry him, and pinch his rosy cheeks all-day long even if his voice sounds as if he's being squeezed in a cola bottle.

You make me love you. :D

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd.

2008-09-22T16:14:00.005+08:00

Somewhere in the galaxy, there's a girl, with her feet throbbing in tedious pain, inputs her vents into the World Wide Web. Some will read it, some won't.

But that's not the real story.

The real story is about friendship and love. About trust, loyalty and courage. It's about life and time and change. Girls and boys write stories just like her. They hide in veils and masks and hope to fit in. Some did. Some didn't. It's a story that has history and chapters yet to be written.

Sometimes to find the real story, you have to look away, into the shadows on the fringe of the obvious. Can you see it?

Somewhere in the galaxy, there's a girl, with her feet throbbing in tedious pain, inputs her vents into the World Wide Web. Critics will criticize and spectators will spectate. They'll talk how wrong the writer's grammar is or how she polish her words to draw more audience.

But that's not the real story. As a matter of fact, that's not the story at all.

Stand by me. Nobody knows the way it's gonna be.

2008-07-26T13:18:00.004+08:00

I miss them more than I possibly can, more than I can possibly imagine.

My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize.

2008-07-24T21:11:00.003+08:00

Well I don't wanna be the blame, NOT ANYMORE. It's your turn, so take a seat, we're settling the final score. And why do we like to hurt SO much? I can't decide. You have made it harder just to go on. And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong. That's what you get when you let your heart win.

When It's Over

2008-07-13T21:30:00.006+08:00

I don’t dare to find you from the ambiguous pool of people. He asks which one is you, I’m not sure. Describe her, he says; there are no words. This city, this world is a pancake stuffed with humans and I’m scared, scared to seek you. It’s a horrifying search, I get claustrophobic in crowded places and I get even more terrified when this thought walks into my mind, screaming, yelling that you might be breathing around me but I close my eyes. He asks if I’m lost; I’ve always been.

-Got this from nosundays. So sad yet so true. ;/

Build God, Then We'll Talk

2008-07-12T22:33:00.001+08:00

When does murder begin?

With the pull of a trigger? With the formation of a motive? Or does it begin long before, when a child swallows more pain than love and is forever changed?

Perhaps it doesn't matter.

Or perhaps it matters more than everything else.

We judge and punish based on facts, but facts are not truth. Facts are like a buried skeleton uncovered long after death. Truth is fluid. Truth is alive. To know the truth requires understanding, the most difficult human art. It requires seeing all things at once, forward and backward, the way God sees.

Forward and backward. . .

Born on the 4th of July.

2008-07-04T21:33:00.007+08:00

Music: Shout to the Lord by AI7 Top 8

Lumiban ako sa eskwelahan ngayon.

Matagal-tagal ko na ring binalak ang paga-absent kaso laging nade-delay. At ngayon, natupad ang planong ito. Dahil medyo umatake and migraine-slash-short-termed lagnat-slash-katamaran ko, sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataon.

Di ko inisip na ngayon nga pala kami magre-reunite ng aking mga 'sisterfriends' at sabay-sabay na babasahin ang lihim na pangkaibigan ni B. Di ko inisip na ngayon pala yung deadline ng mga takda at ngayon kami magpapakitang gilas ng aming mga English skills sa English (syempre). Nawala na rin sa utak ko na ngayon ang Health eksam namin sa MAPEH, na ako ang magdadala ng kostyum ni Denise, at hindi ako kinakausap ni bespren Jenny.

Nakakabanas talaga 'pag nikikipag-patintero sa'yo ang tadhana. Lalo na sa akin. Hindi pa ako nakakatakbo, ako na kaagad ang taya.

Tsk. Wrong timing talaga.

Pero on the bright side, kinakausap na ulit ako ng aking ate. 'Pano ba naman kasi, dalawang beses kaming nagkalmutan, nagsuntukan at naglagyanan ng pulbos sa drawer ng isa't isa. Ayos.

Pagkagising ko kanina, nakita ko agad yung libro na tinake home ni ate at naisipang basahin. Binasa ang prologue, at pinagbalik-baliktad ang libro, nagbabasakaling may sikretong naghihintay na makita ng aking 'Civilian' eyes. Pero, wala naman. Laki na lang ng gulat ko ng nakita ko si ate na nakitingin sa akin, ang mga kamay nakatali sa kanyang baywang. Patay. Caught red-handed. Wala na, away na naman to. Pero imbes na kunin yung nagkakalat na hanger sa sahig, lumapit siya sa akin, ngumiti, at kiniliti ako. Oo, kiniliti. Parehong-pareho dun sa kiliti na binigay ko kay Lala noong nakaraang araw. Phew. Buti na lang.

Pagkatapos nun, habang sinisimut ko yung mayonnaise namin, naisip ko na baka pwede pa akong pumasok, kahit sa hapon lang. Baka makahabol pa ako dun sa English presenteysyon namin.

Pero hindi. HINDI. Tinamad ako, hindi ko ginamit ang kakaunting utak na natitira sa akin at patuloy na sinumot ang paborito kong mayo.

Inubos ko ang natitirang oras sa pagbabasa ng nasabing libro, panunuod ng boring na The Covenant at sa pagkain ng mga strawberry-cheese sandwiches.

Nung medyo humapon na, dumating si Kuya na may dala-dalang mga bagong tinapay na dapat kainin at isang South Star Drug plastik na alam na alam kong, ice cream ang laman. Ayos.

Pagkatapos kumain, pinagusapan ni Mama at Papa si Kuya Patrick at ang kanyang napalakas na appetite kahit sa murang edad na tatlong taon. Tiningnan nila yung photo album na may compilation ng mga childhood pictures namin. Doon ko lang talaga nalaman ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal. No joke. Ang scene eh yung parang sa mga pelikula kung saan magsasabi ang magulang na "Our kid has grown up so fast" at sa pagsignal ng direktor eh ilalabas ng bata ang kanyang ulo at maiisip rin ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng pagmamahal.

Anyway.

Nung humapon-hapon na, tinawagan ko si Charm at hindi si bespren Jenny dahil baka bagsakan niya ako ng telepono. Sabi niya, may hanay daw bukas-7:30 at may workshop 'pag hapon-2:00. Ayos, pwede mo na akong i-stalk. Sabi rin niya, sabay-sabay silang umuwi ng CA at napostpone ang reunion ng aking mga ka-'sisterfriends'. Di raw nila binasa yung liham na pangkaibigan ni B at pumasok na rin si Sir Jonatz sa pinakaunang pagkakataon.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Bago maghapunan, tumawag si bespren Jenny. Ayos, hindi na siya galit sa 'kin. Nagkwentuhan kami at sinabi niya sakin kung ano yung sinabi ni Borj na lagi namang kasama ni B. Haha. Ayos talaga.

Pagkatapos ng dinner, may nangyaring operasyon. Ayoko ng i-elaborate dahil masyadong uhmmm.. kadiri. Pagkalipas ng ilang oras, nandito ako ngayon sa tapat ng maalikabok na monitor, nagsesenti-sentihan sa Vulnerable ng Secondhand Serenade.

So, over-all naging maganda naman ang kinalabasan ng aking master plan. May pros, pero may cons rin. Kahit meron pa akong apat na saknong na dapat buuin, mga terms na dapat i-memorize at training na dapat paghandaan, ayos lang. Ganyan lang talaga makipaglaro sa akin ang tadhana. Sanay na ako at kahit parang di-patas, alam kong sa bandang huli, ako ang unang makakarating ng finish line.

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.

2008-07-01T23:10:00.006+08:00

Ned: You're the only one for me.
Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want, there's things we both want.
Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.

-Pushing Daisies

Saccharine sweetness ♥

We'll make this thing work, but I think we should take it slow.

2008-06-30T19:37:00.007+08:00

Now Playing: Just Like Heaven by The Cure

When you're a 6-year old child, your world revolves around your favorite teddy bear, the 48 crayolas you own and your best playmate that dances with you in the rain. But as you grow older, things get complicated, you get complicated. You're subjected to this whole cacophony of conflicting thoughts.

And it goes the same for every human being that ever existed in this fickle-minded world.

Just like what's happening between J and B right now (Woo! Pang-GossipGirl ah. Haha. Kilalanin niyo na lang sila.) I know I shouldn't put to much attention to it because that's their own businesses but after what I posted last time, I know I couldn't keep my mouth mum.

Precisely like any other people, the first months of their friendship (romance, I daresay) have fairly, smoothly went well. And I've been a witness to that. At some point, the CA opposed to their friendship-relationship but they survived that storm.

But not this time.

Words have been declared and tears have been shed.

I know that coward (the one who anonymously listed his/her name on my Cbox) told me that I'm being biased in this situation. I also know, for a fact, that I haven't heard his side of story. And I know that he has moved heaven and earth just to put back things where it belonged.

I don't know if they're already in good terms but if it's really over I think they should both stop obsessing over what they might have done to save it. And they just can't change the facts that made it so.

Time has a way of healing, or so they say. Sometime in the future, I hope they would do what is right to do. If it's really meant to be, then maybe, someday, they'll find a way to finish what they started.

Right now, I've officially raised my white flag. As far as I'm concerned, this war is over.

And both parties have won. :)

We are young

heartache to heartache,
we stand.
No promises,
no demands.
Love is a battlefield.
- Pat Benatar